Lately.

(this picture is not meant to imply that Ava is an unhappy baby...it just goes well with what I'm about to say)

My days have been non-stop busy the last few weeks. We've had our ups and downs. Some days I've felt like the only thing I accomplished was keeping my children alive. I'm not joking. Some days I've felt so productive and like "wow, maybe I can do this!"

Um, yeah! So unfortunately most days have been rough. Add postpartum emotions to the normal craziness of having 4 children 3 and under and you've got a mama who basically becomes a puddle of tears over the smallest thing and feels like the ultimate mom failure when her sons have to sleep in their clothes because they have no clean jammies. 

I really don't think I've ever been more thankful that God gives those good days (good moments, good parts-of-days) sprinkled throughout the hard ones. I'm thankful that He gives grace and strength abundantly when I feel like I just. can't. do. it. 

Ava is a serious little girl.

These boys. Oh, these boys. Asher has started climbing out of his crib. He apparently is pretty good at it because he's never hurt himself, but it scares me to death! We are going to move him to the toddler bed and Levi to a twin bed as soon as we can get a twin mattress. 

The other night, Jacob was gone and I hurriedly put the older children to bed a little early because Ava needed to eat. Lily went straight to sleep but the boys were being loud and obviously not ready to go to sleep, so I told them they could come play quietly until I was done feeding Ava. They were pretty rambunctious (we had cleaned up everything off the floor, so you can see they did some mess-making) until I told them Daddy was on his way home. Then they jumped up on the couch with a book and read quietly together until he got home. Little stinkers! :)

Last week, Levi was being naughty and I sent him to his "time-out chair" in his room to wait for me to come talk to him. Well, when I went to go in his room, I found that he'd locked he and Asher in the room. I got the little stick key thing and tried to get the door open, but I couldn't. I started to panic. Jacob was about 40 minutes away teaching for the day. I could hear the boys up on their dresser so I told them to get down and play legos. Thankfully they obeyed! :) 

After trying unsuccessfully to get the door opened, I called Jacob's dad who works about a minute from our house. He was so sweet to drop what he was doing and come (after finding a few tools that he thought he might need). He was able to get the door open very quickly...using the "key"...then he taught me how to unlock the door. Ha! We found the boys playing legos sweetly. Notice the time out chair. LOL

An older sibling wanted to share. :)

Play dough!

Lily wanted to see how Ava would fit in her doll cradle :)

Most of this post was written last week. Praise God, this week has been a bit better. Levi had his final post-op appointment yesterday and the doctor is very pleased with how he has healed and how his eyes look! That is a huge blessing!

Nehemiah 8:10

For the JOY of the Lord is your strength.

Update on Levi.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers! Levi did so, so well today! He cried when they carried him away from us, but other than that, he was sweet and happy. Mama actually did better than expected too. ;-) 

We got to be with him before he woke up and he actually wasn't too upset when he started coming to. He whined a little bit, but didn't cry or scream! I'm so thankful! I used some essential oils on him before surgery, and I think that they really helped him. The nurses were expecting him to be really upset when he woke up because they said he went to sleep very easily and they said that normally if a child goes to sleep easily, they wake up very upset. We were so thankful! Essential oils ROCK by the way! :)

We were able to leave about 45 minutes after he woke up. He slept all the way home and then rested on the couch. I forgot to take his sunglasses, so he wore mine home. ha!

Funny story: Jacob and I definitely left an impression at the surgery center today. During the surgery, Jacob spilled a nearly full cup of coffee on the floor in the waiting room. I made a large mess right in the main walkway! So embarrassing. Then when we were getting ready to leave, I used the bathroom and the toilet overflowed all. over. the. place. I just flushed it and water started pouring everywhere. Incredibly embarrassing! Ha!

He rested some this afternoon, but was able to eat and play like normal. The doctor and nurses warned us that using the eye wash and eye drops would probably traumatic for him (and us), but he has been such a trooper! He just lets us do the wash and drops with no trouble at all! We are so proud of him!

The Lord has answered so many prayers today! We are so very thankful!

Eye surgery.

Our sweet Levi is having eye surgery early tomorrow (Thursday) morning. The doctor will be loosening a muscle and tightening a muscle in each eye. He will be asleep about one hour. We are praying that everything will go smoothly and that there will be no complications.

Mama is having a particularly hard time. Postpartum emotions on top of your child having surgery isn't a good combination. I'm a soggy mess. 

We would appreciate your prayers. Thank you!

Ava's birth story.

Sunday, November 10, 4 days overdue with baby girl. 

I woke up and weighed myself first thing. I had lost 2lbs. For some reason I always lose 2lbs right before giving birth. My first thought was, "hmm, I wonder if we'll have a baby today?!" I didn't really think anymore about it as we got ready for church, but then I started losing my mucous plug and although I didn't get super excited, because I've lost my mucous plug several days before labor ever started, I again thought, "maybe today will be the day after all!" 

We went to church and had dinner with Jacob's family. I had some contractions, but none that were any different from what I'd been having regularly for weeks. We came home and got the kids down for naps. Jacob and I lay down too, but I couldn't sleep because I just felt like I needed to be doing something. I got up and did some laundry, emptied and re-loaded the dishwasher, and made muffins. I had a couple "different" contractions, and I texted a couple friends that maybe we'd have a baby today or tomorrow. At 4:01 I had a contraction that got my attention, but I didn't have to stop and breathe through it, so I still wasn't convinced that labor was starting. 

Right around 4:20, I had one that made me stop, focus, and breathe. I went and woke Jacob up and told him that I thought I was in labor and we'd need to head to the birth clinic sometime that evening. I was still hanging on to the hope that labor would hold off until after we put the kids to bed...so we could leave and they wouldn't even know. I had another more intense contraction and I told Jacob he'd better call his mom to come so she'd be here to take care of the kids when we needed to leave. 

We hurried around gathering up our last few things to take and getting stuff ready for the kids. I finally accepted the fact that I really was in labor and we were going to need to get going so we didn't have the baby in the car. When Jacob's mom arrived we quickly told her and the kids goodbye (I cried a little and Asher was calling for me as we waved goodbye). I hadn't eaten anything since dinner, so Jacob ran back in and got me a muffin and a bottle of water. We finally left the house at 5:08. As we were pulling out of the driveway I told Jacob, that he didn't have to drive fast, I thought we had plenty of time...that was before I had any contractions while sitting in the car. Oh, those are not fun! After I breathed and groaned through one, I said, "uh, yeah, you do need to drive fast!" ha!

The whole drive, my contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart. They grew in intensity and I was feeling the baby move down with each one. I had a super hard one (where I thought my water was going to break) while passing the exit to the hospital and I debated telling Jacob to just head there because I didn't think we would make it another 25 minutes. I just told him to hurry and he put on the flashers and for sure hurried! 

Once we got to the birth clinic (we made it in record time!), it seemed like my contractions slowed down, but they didn't, I was just busy talking with the midwives. I sat/bounced/swayed on the birth ball (my favorite way to labor) and leaned over on the bed and groaned and silently quoted my labor/birth verse - Isaiah 41:10 through contractions. I was feeling sick to my stomach, but I never threw up. I also got the shakes, which I always do around transition.

Jacob was amazing. Through all the contractions, he sat behind me and rubbed/put pressure on my low back and hips. My mom and sister arrived at some point and they were a big encouragement to me. I was still talking and listening to the conversation between contractions, but I really appreciated how everyone got quiet when a contraction started. I have always prayed that I wouldn't get ugly toward my husband, family, or midwives when I'm laboring, and it was just nice that they were considerate and I didn't have to ask them to be quiet! 

After a little while, I got in the zone and was staying focused even between contractions. Then I had a few hard, super long contractions and the midwife suggested I should get up on the bed and let her check me (around 7:45, I think). The most comfortable position was lying on my side (which I have never done during birth before). When she checked me I was 10cm and +3 station. I was feeling ready to push, and just then my water broke. 

I pushed through two or three contractions and the midwife said that she could see about half an inch to an inch of the baby's head. I was like (thinking to myself), "man, nobody's got time for that, let's get this baby out!" At the next contraction, I pushed (several times) with all my might and Ava Mae was born at 8:04! I obviously didn't push the whole time with all my might and shoot her out - she was actually born very easily and I had no tearing or even bruising. Ava was crying before she was even completely delivered and she was a beautiful pink! She was my first baby not to have the cord around it's neck. 

After she was born I just lay there with my eyes closed. I was so thrilled that birth was over, but I was almost scared to look at Ava because of how blue Asher was when he was born with the cord around his neck and shoulder. Myra kept telling me to open my eyes and look at my beautiful daughter. It was such a surreal time!

I am so thankful for my wonderful support team and for God's sufficient strength and presence with me.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

She's here!!

Ava Mae

Born at 8:04 pm on November 10

7lbs and 21in long

We are thrilled to be home with all our babes! 

40 weeks!

Yes! I have made it to 40 weeks with baby #4!! I am so excited to meet our sweet new little girl! I am feeling really good and continuing to have lots of energy. By the late afternoon/evening, I'm worn out, and ready to go to bed, but any busy mama of littles feels like that. 

Pretty much everything is marked off the big to-do before baby list! There are 23 (I think) meals/parts of meals in my freezer along with several breakfast casseroles, muffins, pancakes, and breads. The pantry is stocked and we have plenty of diapers and toilet paper! :) I am doing my best to stay on top of the laundry, dishes, and general cleaning of the house. 

We are praying that baby girl comes sooner rather than later because of Jacob's super busy week next week. One thing I thought of this morning was that Lily, Levi, and Asher all came on or just a day after their original due date (the due date we figured instead of the due date the ultrasound predicted - for example, Asher's original date according to my cycle was March 10, the ultrasound moved it to March 4, but he was born on March 11). With this baby, the ultrasound didn't move my original date at all, so maybe I won't go like a week overdue. Just a thought! :) I'm really completely content waiting until she's ready. I am enjoying my last few days with just my three little ones. We have been having lots of special times together (along with some not so fun challenging times that seem to come from still trying to adjust to the time change. ugh!)

Can't wait to post that our sweet baby girl is here! :)

Happy Day.

We had such a fun day on Tuesday. I decided to take the kids to pick out little pumpkins at a "pumpkin patch" a local church had. When I drove by on Monday, they still had tons of pumpkins, but when we got there Tuesday morning, they had packed up and all that was left were little gourds. I felt so, so bad because I'd gotten the kids so excited about this special treat.

We tried the farmer's market next and hit the jackpot for pumpkins and apples! I was so thankful that the kids were able to get pumpkins. Then I decided to take them on a nature walk around a local park to find pretty leaves. We wandered around for over an hour, munching on apples, picking up leaves and acorns. The children were so well behaved and we really just had the best time. It was a balm to this tired mama's soul.

Three cuties.

burning off energy.

Later the same day, our babysitter came for a few hours so I could take Lily out on a special date with mama before Baby Girl is born.

I let her choose where she wanted to go. Our first stop was the Dollar Tree for some new dress up stuff. She loves all things girly/dress up! After that, we ran by a local consignment store to see if they had any shoes in Lily's size, but they didn't, so we headed to a new frozen yogurt shop.

It was super windy and sunny, but Lily wanted to sit outside anyway. She kept having to hold her hair out of her face so she could eat. 

Our final stop was Target. We found some shoes (on sale! yay!) and she picked out a new book. In the picture, she's riding in Levi's carseat. Whenever her brothers aren't with us, she loves to ride in their carseats. Silly girl!

After I put the boys to bed that night, I came in her room and found this little setup. I think Jacob's going to need to build her a dressing table! :)

I am so thankful for the fun days with my babies.

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Random pictures and confessions from the "other" side of mommyhood.

When you don't get breakfast ready soon enough, your toddler just helps himself to whatever he can find.

My child is the one when singing her favorite song in church hollers out between stanzas "louder" just like she does when it plays in the van.

You are afraid that people driving by will assume this is a not so good part of town just by the state of your window blinds. Yes, we still live in the dark ages (ha!) with mini blinds. Someday we hope to replace them with the amazing wide ones, but until then, scotch tape has become my BFF.

A three inch roach crawled across the kitchen (and got under the stove before I could kill it) one morning and I so terrified my children with my screams, that they set up a barricade of Daddy's shoes and the ironing board and kept watch from high stools. Thankfully, after about 20 minutes of watching, the roach made a beeline for the refrigerator and I was able to stomp it to pieces (of course with many screams accompanying the furious stomping).

Sometimes I'm totally ok to let the kids make a huge mess just to keep them occupied while I clean the bathroom or make an important phone call.

Attempting to make granola with a 1 year old.

I am the mom who...

lets the children play "getting ready" so she can get her make up on and hair done without too much interruption. (Levi was "painting his toenails." Ha.)

brushes her teeth with kids toothpaste and doesn't realize it (or think about it) until she is rinsing her mouth.

makes banana bread for the specific purpose of sharing it with someone and completely forgets to share it until it is completely eaten. oops!

rarely irons. If something is a little wrinkled, I just flick some water on it and toss it in the dryer for a few minutes.

while backing out of a parking spot, hears a little voice saying, "mama, aren't you going to buckle me?"

on Saturday night realizes she hasn't had a shower since Wednesday morning. ugh. (thankfully this hasn't happened too often)

while driving down the road after leaving the house, frantically starts asking if every child is present and accounted for because she can't remember if she put them all in.

realizes she's been singing "I'm a little teapot" to herself for the last 20 minutes while washing the dishes after the children are in bed for the night.

starts talking to the kids about the beautiful blue sky and saying, "look out Lily's side (of the van), there is a fire truck!" only to remember she's out running errands by herself. (obviously a very rare happening around here)

After talking to our new neighbor and laughing with him about the way Lily and Levi were dressed (Lily in a poofy flower girl dress, Levi in a blue/green striped shirt and red plaid shorts, both with their winter mittens on) I was mortified to remember that Lily had "done" my hair this morning and I was still sporting an "up-do" with a large bow and play plastic bright green handled knife stuck in it. Wow. Welcome to the crazyhood!

Counting down!

Baby Girl will be here next month! We are all so excited! Lily and Levi helped me sort and wash the baby clothes last week. After I folded the clothes, Lily organized them in the top drawer of her dresser. Everyone that stops by gets to go see the baby clothes in her dresser. :)

33 weeks

I am feeling well, although last week I had three days of painful cramping and low back pain. The baby dropped, but I was also not getting off my feet enough each day. I've made it a point since then to get my feet up by 9:30ish each evening and I haven't had any more cramping. 

I am still working out at the gym 3 days each week and at home every day as well (stretches, squats, inversions, etc). 

35 weeks

I'm still cooking/baking extra meals and breakfast foods for the freezer. Our freezer is pretty full which makes me happy! No one is going to starve while we adjust to a new baby. :) I've been trying to buy a few extra things at the grocery store each week to have the pantry stocked. 

I think I've mentioned this before, but I feel like the best thing I did after Asher was born was to stay home for several weeks. I'm very much a home-body (since having lots of littles) and it was just the best way for us to adjust to having a new baby. I'm planning on doing that again this time and want to be as prepared as possible. 

36 weeks

I would really appreciate it if you all would pray with me that our sweet baby girl is not super far past her due date. The track record with my babies isn't very promising - 4 days late, 6 days late, and 7 days late, but with God, nothing is impossible! I usually don't mind being late because I want my babies to come when they are ready. 

Funny story, with Asher, the whole week I was overdue with him I was telling him to stay put because Jacob was super busy that week. Well, Jacob got done with all his obligations the Saturday night I was 6 days overdue and I "told" Asher, "ok, baby, you can come anytime now" and he was born the next day. :) 

Anyway, with this baby, the week after she's due Jacob has an insanely busy week and will be out of town a few days too. Eeek! Talk about pressure! :) I'm praying so much that she won't be more than 4 or 5 days late. 

37 weeks and 2 days

Fun weekend.

Last week was the busiest week ever for Jacob. He was gone so, so much. :( Several times he didn't see the kids for a couple days at a time because he left in the morning before they got up and got home way past bedtime. It was a hard week for me. Just with having all the home responsibilities on me as well as being the only parent "present" for most of the week was tough. I'm thankful that this week is going to be better! Although Jacob's busy, he won't be gone 15-16 hours each day!

I took the kids to a festival on Saturday morning. They loved the parade! 

Levi was the only one who actually rode the ponies. Lily didn't want to because she's not a fan of "strange men" (LOL) and Asher sat on the pony but got scared when it started moving.

They had fun at the petting zoo!

Levi's all-time favorite was "driving" the fire truck. He was thrilled!

I'm so glad I took the kids. They had the best time, but man, it wore me out! Ha. It was hot and I pulled them in the wagon and then I was so afraid I was going to lose one of them in the crowds at the petting zoo. Thankfully they all stayed together really well. 

Saturday evening a friend of ours got married. Jacob played for the prelude and processional, but then he got to sit with me and Lily (the boys stayed with our sitter) for the ceremony! After the crazy busy week, it was so nice to be able to sit side by side for 20 minutes! :)