Mommy {and Daddy} Brain.

• A couple weeks ago, I was not on the verge of panic in Walmart's parking lot when I couldn't find my car where I *knew* I'd parked it. As I was franticly looking around I did not suddenly remember that I had driven Jacob's car to do my errands! What a dummy! I never suffer from mommy brain! Nope, not me!

• Jacob was busy warming up some lunch in the microwave one day and when the microwave went off, he did not open the door to realize that he hadn't even put his food inside! Nope, my hubby would never get so sidetracked that he would turn the microwave on and leave his lunch sitting on the counter! Ha.

• After visiting with my family one evening last week, I did not get within a mile of my home and realize that I'd forgotten Lily's bottle warmer and have to turn around and go back and get it. I definitely have it way more together than that!

• One evening not too long ago we were headed to a city 45 minutes away for Jacob to play in a concert. We were not more than halfway into the trip when we suddenly realized that he had forgotten his violin {of all things!}!! Since we would definitely be super late if we went back home, Jacob did not have to call one of his musician friend's and sheepishly ask if he could borrow her violin for the concert! No, that would never happen to my husband!

Visit MckMama for more Not Me! Monday therapy!

Happy Monday!

Not Me! Monday

We have no baby yet, but hopefully she'll be here in the next couple of days! Right now we are just enjoying this busy Christmas week.

----------------------

One night last week Jacob and I planned a date night at home. We got out the popcorn popper and decided to try a new recipe for Italian herb popcorn. I mixed up the herb and olive oil mixture while Jacob popped the popcorn. When the popcorn was ready, I poured the herb mixture over and Jacob was just supposed to stir it to coat the popcorn...

Well, he decided that stirring wasn't getting the job done, so he most certainly did not start vigorously shaking the popcorn popper. And as if that still was not good enough, he didn't then violently shake it!  

Nope, my husband would never do such a silly thing as that! The next thing we knew, popcorn was not all over the kitchen. NO, the popcorn popper lid would never come flying off, even with such violent shaking!

Not only would the above never happen at our house, we never would let the popcorn spill on the still-burning-hot-stove eye! We certainly did not have scorched popcorn and a blaring smoke alarm on our hands!

Nope, not us! 

(this picture was taken after most of the scorched popcorn had been cleared away)

Visit MckMama for more Not Me! Mondays.

Not Me! Monday

Just a few incidents (or rather accidents) that have not happened to me lately:

I did not buy 2 packages of almond bark, completely thinking that they were white candy coating, only to get home and realize that they were both chocolate flavored and colored almond bark! Nope, not me! I always pay attention to what I pick up at the grocery store. ha!

When feeding these darling little puppies each morning, they are not so feisty that we have to bring one inside to eat and feed the other one outside so they don't fight over the food. No, we have very well behaved puppies!
Oh, and the other day, the inside-eating puppy did not get so excited about eating that he was jumping around (instead of eating) and his tail most certainly did not slap against his bowl and send little round balls of puppy food all over my entire kitchen, into the living room, and under the washer and dryer. No, no, no, that would never happen at our house!

As I was planning what to have for dinner one afternoon last week, I realized that we were out of shredded cheddar cheese to sprinkle on our chili. So I stuck a block of cheddar in the freezer to harden a little so it would be easier to grate (that really works, btw!).
Well, the time rolls around for me to get supper on the table, but oh no! where in the world did the cheese go??!!! I definitely did not search the refrigerator 3 times and the garbage can twice for the block of cheese before I found it sitting nicely in the freezer right where I'd put it several hours earlier. Absolutely not! I would never ever be so forgetful! And I would also never post such an embarrassing happening on facebook or my blog. Nope, not me!

Head over to MckMama's for more Not Me! Monday laughs!

Hope ya'll have a great day!!

Not Me! Monday

On Saturday I did not have so much energy that I...

• went grocery shopping (alone) and did not lug a 20lb bag and a 40lb bag of dog food onto the buggy, around the store, and into my car. No, 8-months-pregnant me would never do that! But I'm sure it'd be a pretty funny sight if I did!
• washed, dried, folded and put away 4 loads of laundry
• finished marking all the hand-me-down baby clothes that have not been piled in my living room for at least 2 months 
• swept the kitchen floor, and since I definitely sweep it everyday (ha!), I did not sweep up 2 dust-pans full of grossness! I'm a way better housewife than that.
• pulled everything out of the hall closet and organized it, including my big stash of diapers and wipes! Nope, I would never have that much energy! 

Also on Saturday, I did not decide on a whim to make pumpkin waffles to add to my after-baby-stash in the freezer. All was going great until I realized that I had forgotten to add the butter...no wonder the waffles were rubbery and not crispy! I never do silly things like forgetting to add ingredients. Nope, not me!

I planned all weekend to make a Banana Pudding for the church fellowship on Sunday night. As I was gathering the ingredients together late Saturday night, I did not frantically search my cabinets for the vanilla wafers and realize that Pregnancy Brain struck once again! Nope, not me! Instead of running out to 24-hour Walmart to buy some, I did not substitute stale graham crackers. Haha, that's a great idea, but I would never do it...especially for a church fellowship!

My dear sweet husband has not been so busy the last few weeks that he hasn't had time for a haircut. No no no, he is always clean cut and non-hippy looking.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that we would never ever put ponytails or water spouts in his hair. No, we just don't do that kind of thing!

For more Not Me! Monday posts, visit MckMama.

Happy Monday, Ya'll!

Not Me! Monday

I cannot believe I'm going to own up to these stories, especially the first one! I never ever thought I would do this. Ever!

On Saturday night, I was not so exhausted that I suggested to Jacob as we stood looking at our unmade bed (I had washed the sheets earlier in the day) that we just sleep on the mattress pad with the comforter. NO, I would absolutely never ever stand for such a barbaric idea, no matter how exhausted I am! We most definitely did not follow through with my idea, nope, not us!

Facts: I play the organ at church. I've never had lessons. I don't use the feet pedals. I had piano lessons for 14 years. I've played the piano at church off and on for 8 years and the organ for 1 1/2 years.

During singspiration at church last night, I did not begin 2 (TWO) songs in the wrong key. No, I would never do that! Ya'll know how loud an organ is too. eeERRRAHhhhh! After the initial shock of what I'd done, I did not completely pretend that it wasn't me, hoping that everyone thought it was my sister on the piano or one of the other instruments that had made such awful racket! Nope, not me!

For more great laughs, visit my sister. She's got some great confessions today! ha. MckMama will probably not do Not Me! post today because her darling little boy is in the hospital. Please remember to pray for their family.

Not Me! Monday

I cannot believe I'm admitting all these insane incidents!

When I was running short on time cooking dinner one night, I did not experiment cooking zucchini in the microwave instead of boiling it. All was going well until I added just one more minute to the cooking time. After a huge kaboom! I did not have this mess to clean up in my microwave (it was splattered all over the microwave although you can't really tell from the picture)! Nope, not me!

The other day after lunch I was sitting at the table checking my email, and I did not take out my earrings to help soothe my infected ear and set them on the table. Then I did not proceed to get out my vitamins and set them right beside the pearl earrings, all the while reading emails. I most certainly did not pick up my earrings and nearly swallow them thinking that they were my vitamins! Nope, I would never do such a ridiculous thing!

Right before going to sleep the other night, I did not fall asleep while Jacob was praying and then wake up and blurt out that the noisemaker had somehow gotten turned off, all while he was still praying. No, I would never do that!

And, last but not least...after cooking 1lb of bacon on the electric griddle to make cheese and bacon fries for a bunch of guys coming over to watch a football game, I did not unplug the coffee grinder instead of the griddle and then wonder why the house was filling with smoke. I did not nearly die about 20 minutes later when Jacob asked me if he could turn the griddle off. Only somebody with major pregnant brain would do that! But, that's not the end of the story...after letting the griddle cool I decided I was going to wash it and put it away before all the guys got to our house. Well, swift-brained me did not forget that the grease holder-thingy was completely full of grease (remember, I cooked 1lb of bacon!). I did not proceed to spill grease all over my good clothes, the kitchen cabinets, counter, and floor just minutes before company was due to arrive. Nope, not me! I must've dreamed that story up!

For more Not Me! Monday posts visit MckMama!

Not Me! Monday

I most certainly did not give my hubby a nice big bowl of chicken noodle soup only to have him ask after a couple bites, "babe, did you water this down?" Why in the world would I need to water it down? I would never serve my husband condensed, un-diluted soup! Nope, not me!

On Sunday morning as I was busily getting food cooked for our church dinner, I did not put on a pot of water to boil only to come back 15 minutes later and wonder why in the world it wasn't even starting to bubble! No, I would never be so un-observant as to turn on the wrong range burner and heat up the entire kitchen instead of heating the pot of water!

This one is a Hubby Not Me! (he knows I'm posting it, and he's ok with it). A few weeks ago my dear sweet husband did not wear a pair of I've-almost-lost-enough-weight-to-wear khaki pants (with a messed up zipper, I might add) to teach violin at a school about a block away. Everything was going along fine with said pants until he sat down right before the first class was due to arrive at his classroom. Pop! The entire zipper did not bust completely open and break! My poor hubby did not go tearing down the hallway calling to the class that he'd be back in 5 minutes. Nope, not him! He is much more put-together than that.

Visit MckMama for more Not Me! Mondays.

Happy Monday!

Not Me! Monday

• A couple weeks ago I did not get to the checkout at the grocery store with a full buggy of groceries only to find that had I left my wallet on the table at home. I did not then have to drive all the way home and back to pay for and pick up my groceries. I SO do not have a bad case of pregnant brain!

• I was not driving home from my sister's, talking on the phone, and speeding along a 6-lane highway at 60(ish)mph in a 45mph zone when I most certainly did not look in my rear view mirror and see a cop flying towards me (in the same lane as me) with his lights flashing. I did not continue driving a little ways to my street and get into the left turn lane instead of pulling off on the side of the road. How awful would that have been?! Only a rebel would have done that, not the girl who's going to be a MOM in a few months! Nope, Not Me! The Po-po (as we so affectionately call them) did not slow down and turn off his lights when he got up behind me and then continue driving past (as I turned off) at a normal speed, that would have been way too generous of guys like that.

• On Wednesday night at 11 pm when we could supposedly see a meteor shower, my dear husband did not go out the back door in the dark and in his sock-feet, no less, and step smack dab into the dog's full water bowl! No, he would never be so klutzy to do something like that! I most definitely DID NOT cackle uncontrollably at him for an hour that night or for the next 3+ days (whenever the mental picture came to my mind)! A sweet wife like me would never ever do such a thing!

• Yesterday after making Sausage Spinach appetizers to take to a church fellowship, I was not horrified to look on all the crescent roll tubes and see that they had expired in APRIL! I most certainly did not proceed to take the appetizers to the fellowship, bake them, and watch everyone enjoy them (and say that they were soo good) all the while knowing that the crescent rolls were 4 months past the expiration date! Nope, not me!

Hope you have a wonderful Monday! For more laughs visit My Charming Kids.