Not Me! Monday

I cannot believe I'm admitting all these insane incidents!

When I was running short on time cooking dinner one night, I did not experiment cooking zucchini in the microwave instead of boiling it. All was going well until I added just one more minute to the cooking time. After a huge kaboom! I did not have this mess to clean up in my microwave (it was splattered all over the microwave although you can't really tell from the picture)! Nope, not me!

The other day after lunch I was sitting at the table checking my email, and I did not take out my earrings to help soothe my infected ear and set them on the table. Then I did not proceed to get out my vitamins and set them right beside the pearl earrings, all the while reading emails. I most certainly did not pick up my earrings and nearly swallow them thinking that they were my vitamins! Nope, I would never do such a ridiculous thing!

Right before going to sleep the other night, I did not fall asleep while Jacob was praying and then wake up and blurt out that the noisemaker had somehow gotten turned off, all while he was still praying. No, I would never do that!

And, last but not least...after cooking 1lb of bacon on the electric griddle to make cheese and bacon fries for a bunch of guys coming over to watch a football game, I did not unplug the coffee grinder instead of the griddle and then wonder why the house was filling with smoke. I did not nearly die about 20 minutes later when Jacob asked me if he could turn the griddle off. Only somebody with major pregnant brain would do that! But, that's not the end of the story...after letting the griddle cool I decided I was going to wash it and put it away before all the guys got to our house. Well, swift-brained me did not forget that the grease holder-thingy was completely full of grease (remember, I cooked 1lb of bacon!). I did not proceed to spill grease all over my good clothes, the kitchen cabinets, counter, and floor just minutes before company was due to arrive. Nope, not me! I must've dreamed that story up!

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